Born to live
by Windpheonix
Summary: One man's meat is another man's poison. A cure against cancer gone horribly wrong forces Ahsoka and her Master to pass the most horrible trials of all.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own star wars. This story is written for entertainment purpose only. I do not make any money with it.

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Over the centuries the number between space fearing races grew.

Alliances were built, trade contracts were signed and both were broken. The continuing exchanges between all groups lead to an advance in cultural, philosophical and scientific areas.

Better ships were built, more powerful engines developed and of course, illnesses were eradicated.

Plagues that had ravaged worlds, even entire solar systems were studied, vaccines were produced and distributed. Continued scientific advance and collaboration across the entire galaxy had defeated even the dreaded blue shadow virus.

But, there was one thing, one illness that continued its devastating path and could seemingly not be stopped.

Cancer

As a malignant neoplasm the cells of the human body multiply uncontrollably, sometimes infecting nearby tissue. It also spreads through the bloodstream or lymphatic system.

Of course, cures existed. Old ways were refined, survival rates had risen, but new kinds had developed and as fewer and fewer cures were to be found the senate of the republic made drastic decisions.

In the beginning of the clone wars one of the biggest, if not the biggest, scientific research program the republic had ever seen was called into life.

Geared towards the media it was certainly the grandest project the republic had ever paid for.

Genetic research, the tempering with ones DNA, was by now so specialized that few people dared to take up the daunting task of meddling with the dreaded illness, but prizes, the promise of eternal glory and the honest wish to help people eventually won over.

The best scientific teams from all areas that might be connected with the subject came together.

The first fronts in the battle against cancer were the Doctors with their nurses. The genetic research was re-started in only the best treatment facilities all across the republic, after it had lain almost dormant, all efforts going to chipping away at types of the illness instead of tackling the problem at the root.

Samples were taken and the course of the disease was recorded.

Taking all the different varieties into account it was a grueling amount of data.

Slowly but careful not to lose a single bit of information the mills started to turn and everything was finally put together in the laboratories.

The goal of the entire research was to cure cancer by stopping only the division of mutated cells.

But how?

So many factors came into play. So many questions had to be answered.

Not only race, not only where someone lived or what lifestyle he/she/it had came into play, but also what made the cells divide; which kind of signal does the body send, why do cells stop growing and how does one target just one group of cells?

The project had many opponents.

Some called religion as an argument, saying that the base of one's creation should not be changed.

Other said the side effects the cure would cause were unknown, the risks not appraisable.

Ironically all their concerns were valid, but none was aware of the real danger.

The research bore fruit.

Great hopes were put forward to a pathogen that should deliver radioactive components to the tumor, to minimize radiation the patient was subjected to while to maximize the effect.

It was not the hoped-for vaccine, but a beginning that was wildly celebrated.

Only, it did not bring the result that they expected. Instead of stopping the cells from changing, the new treatment caused them to mutate.

The mutation, also of before healthy tissue, was so rapid, the tumors so aggressive and resistant to before known cures, that the first round of animal testing was stopped before the illness had run its course.

The cure was declared a failure and locked away, forgotten by press and even its developers, but not by the republic`s enemy.

When the break-in occurred a team of Jedi was called to the research facilities to investigate, it was a prestigious and important project, but they found no clue.

A single vial was missing from the freezer, but other than that nothing showed that someone had set foot in the rooms after the cure had been locked away.

Months after investigation a young padawan and her master should encounter their greatest challenge.

After all, the great 501st would deal much less damage when their General and commander were gone, right?

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**A.N.:**

_What did I get myself into?_

Credit for the idea goes towards ScyrenaKenway0815, who allowed me to adopt her plotbunny, thanks for that!

To all who have read this chapter, thank you. I have to say I am very nervous about the reaction this story is going to have.

This is a very delicate subject and updates will be coming slowly, as I think that if you write about such a topic you have to get it absolutely right. If you don`t, you better don`t bother writing it at all.

So, I ask for your help here.

Tell me what you think.

What could be written better, which detail did I miss, what made no sense?

Anything helps, really.

If you think it`s too personal, or if you don`t want to tell me that I created a gigantic mess in public, please PM me. As I said, anything helps and I fear I bit off a bit more than I can chew here; I really appreciate your input, any kind.

I try to keep it as close to real as possible, but please bear in mind that we have faster than light travel here, so their treatment has to differ (a bit.)

The title is a translation of the song "Geboren Um Zu Leben" by Unheilig. It is a beautiful song and even if you don`t understand the lyrics it really sets the mood for this story (which might eventually get bumped up to M).


	2. Chapter 2

The battle on Marisa was not the best Ahsoka had taken part in.

The mostly rural planet had little to offer in terms of recourses or strategic value, but when a cry for help had reached the republic Palpatine had not hesitated to send the 501st for help. With their decimated numbers after Teth they were a lot smaller than they were used to, but they had just enough men to defeat the Separatist troops.

Closely packed houses provided plenty of opportunity for a decent ambush for the local troops before the GAR had arrived.

Unfortunately it still made for impressive death traps as Ahsoka had to discover.

"I don`t like this area." Rex noted. The small alley gave little to no cover, the houses too high to keep both the roofs and the entrances to the street in view, but Ahsoka was her usual carefree-self.

"Don`t worry Rex, there are no droids left here and even if, we will take them on."

The clone briefly wondered how it was possible that a shiny fresh from Kamino and a Jedi- even if she was just a Padawan - could be so similar in terms of overconfidence. The Kaminoans had taught them that the Jedi were near perfect beings. So far, he had a lot to rectify about that description. Not that his General and Commander weren't decent, no by far not.

They cared about him and his men in a way they had not experienced before, the Jedi were worried not only about the clone's physical wellbeing, but also offered words of praise and heartfelt condolences, whichever was needed. It was just; they were so different from what the flash-training had painted them to be like. Rex shook himself out of his musings. There would be time to ponder on the differences between training and reality later. For now, at least he had to stay level headed. Only because the day had been quiet didn't mean it had to stay that way.

The young Padawan and Captain Rex lead a small squad of clone troopers for a last sweep of the city as a group of droidekas rolled seemingly out of no-where and blocked both ends of the streets they were in. A row of shots forced her into defensive, the shock travelling through her arms into her upper body.

"We are under attack. I repeat, we are under attack." Rex radioed and felt immediately grateful for Coric`s presence as the more experienced medic pushed the shinies into a more defensive pattern.

"Hold your position Ahsoka, the speeders are on their way." The reassuring voice of her master sounded in Ahsoka's ear.

"We could take them Master." The Togrutan protested while the droid continued to blanket the group with laser shots.

Life decided to prove her wrong as an assassin droid leaped from the next roof. Being already intensely focused on the droidekas Ahsoka failed to evade. It tackled her to the ground, the shock of a taser made her body go numb and loose her grip on the light sabres, her life.

Rex was only aware of the commander's too proud answer and a choked growl before she hit the ground. She was grappling with a droid, too close, too erratic movement to shoot…

"We need cover!" Rex kicked the droid in it's midriff, dislodging it's death-grip on the commander.

Seeing as now there was enough space he levelled his pistol and pulled the trigger. Seemingly at the same time the speeders arrived, forcing the rollies to retreat.

"Everything alright commander?" Rex stored one blaster , keeping the other in hand as he knelt down next to his Commander.

"Are you injured?" He waved Coric over as Ahsoka didn`t react immediately. She was still lying on the floor, face crunched up in discomfort. The medic hurried over to them, mouthing a short, "no-one seriously hurt Sir", before running the scanner over Ahsoka`s body. She groaned, but stayed still as Coric placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I think so Rex. He stabbed me, I think."

"Where Commander? Can you specify the area?"

Ahsoka moved slightly, pushing herself up until her weight rested on her elbows. Rex could see several bruises forming on her right cheek, alongside with several gashes from the uneven packed dirt in the alley.

"In my back. It felt as if he pushed something in my spine." She shuddered. Rex placed a hand on her arm, hoping to keep her calm. He had been so close to letting his Commander get killed. There were so few Jedi, the Republic needed them, so much more then they needed a single clone. . It was just settling in how close.

Coric ran another scan over Ahsoka`s spine.

"The scanner does not pick anything up Ma'am." Coric placed the scanner in his belt and pushed off his gloves. He pulled his commander's shirt up to her shoulders, no thoughts about modesty, as he clinically ran his fingers over her spine, searching for something and found it. Both in the flinch and violent hiss of his commander and in a track mark just between her thoracic and lumbar vertebrae.

"There is a track mark in the region of your lower spine commander. I would recommend an examination on the Resolute."

"But I feel fine Coric. I am sore, but I am fine, really." Ahsoka protested, but Coric was adamant. The Legion was still being re-built after Teth and he would not take any chances.

"The droid targeted you Commander. We do not know what he injected, or if he managed to at all."

He carefully pushed his Commander`s clothing back in place and supported her with a hand on her lower back while he helped her over to one of the speeders, hopefully it would be alright.


	3. Chapter 3

After an endless row of jabs and scans Ahsoka was still kept in medbay over night.

"Coric, I feel fine. Can`t you just let the machines work while I sleep I my own bunk?"

"I could Commander, but you have to understand that we don`t know what you were injected with. I would rather like to keep you under close supervision until we know."

You had to give one thing to Coric. He had the patience of a Jedi master when it came to his patients.

"Charge, I said you should keep that leg elevated. Stay put or I tape you to your bunk!" As long as they were doing what he said.

Of course Ahsoka complained about her stay in med bay endlessly and she had even stepped it up after she noticed the amused smiles the men gave her.

"But Coric, there is the post-battle talk in the mess. I missed the rep, but I might just make it for the informal discussion, if…"

Unbeknown to her Anakin had quietly entered the cool room. He smiled as he caught his Padawan trying to get the medic to let her go.

"That is quiet enough, Snips." Her master interrupted her.

"We don`t want to take any chances. I am sure Coric will find out what is going on and we will be back to our old routine in no time at all."

With that he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and told her to rest.

True to Anakin`s predictions Coric released Ahsoka, who was bursting with energy, out of med bay two days later. She was under strict medical orders to check in if something felt amiss, but so far nothing had come up except for elevated radiation levels when they had initially checked her into med bay. By the time she was released they had evened out to an acceptable level.

Life went on as usual; Ahsoka had to catch on with her studies, which were in these times issued by the Jedi temple towards the Padawan when he or she was unable to leave the battle-field.

The 501st had run some supplies and opening up camps for refugees they had been ordered back to Coruscant for some urgent repairs and upgrades on the Leveler, as well as the training of the shinies.

As usual several things had gone awry and the repairs had taken longer than planned. It was almost two months after they had arrived on Coruscant, almost four months after Ahsoka`s injuries, before there was talk about moving out again. The incident with the assassination droid was nearly forgotten.

Captain Rex had been more than grateful for the chance to introduce his rookies for the real life as well as possible while Ahsoka had settled into her life at the Jedi temple once again.

She had advanced in her light saber classes so far that Anakin had decided to introduce her to the next stage. While he put his hands on her hip and arm to guided her through a particularly tricky movement of the Level five his Padawan tensed.

Her master pushed her to complete the motion, before he stepped around her and tried to gauge her physical state. "Are you all right Snips?"

Ahsoka took a deep breath, obviously trying to relax.

"I am not sure master, it is just, I am very stiff around my lower stomach, as if I pulled a muscle."

Her master frowned. The exercise had not been that strenuous and they had carefully warmed up to prevent injuries.

"I am sure I just didn`t sleep right." Ahsoka grinned at him. "I will be fine."

He nodded, unconvinced. "Alright, we are nearly done anyway. Let`s go over to our cool-down. Then, you go take a hot shower and finish that essay on Ryloth`s cavalries." Ahsoka moaned. "You know it is due tomorrow."

The stiffness in her side did not disappear; even her grasp to the force did not sooth the pains that continued to turn up. Ahsoka`s apparently inherited aversion of the med bay and her Master`s shared feelings of the place led to them putting of the visit until a week later.

in the not so distant future Anakin would kick himself repeatedly for not dragging his Padawan to the medical wing then and there.

Master Unduli had smiled as Ahsoka hopped onto the sheet covered bed and explained her troubles. She had initially expected nothing more than a pinched nerve, but even as she ran her hands across Ahsoka`s stomach she frowned, digging her fingers a little deeper in one spot. Ahsoka flinched.

"Yes Master, it`s just there, or that area." The padawan felt the force change around Master Unduli as she reached out for the force and send it deeply into her body.

Still there was silence, even as the healer straightened and started typing on a pad. "I discovered a something in the area of your liver Ahsoka. We are doing a couple of deep scans. Please wait here. We should have figured out if I was right in a moment."

Feeling the growing unease in her patient she looked up. "Shall I call your master padawan?"

Trying to keep the quiver out of her voice Ahsoka replied. She did her best to grow up quickly, wanting to impress her master and be a Jedi knight herself, but suddenly she desperately wished for his reassuring presence by her side.

"Yes please."

She was very glad for his presence when hours later, they were sitting in the examination room again. The results had come in. The sun had already set, although that didn`t cause the light in Coruscant to diminish, it simply switched for the bright lights of the night.

Both Ahsoka and Anakin had opted to wait in the medical wing, just wandering around, talking about this and that, keeping their minds off of the uncertainty. It was not just a pinched nerve, so much was clear from the serious expression on the healer`s faces.

Luminara Unduli pulled up a chair, looking through the flimsi in her hands, strangely prolonging relaying her results.

Finally she looked up. "Ahsoka, we found a tumor in the area of your liver. We do not know yet if it is malign or benign, but we are going to continue the examinations the day after tomorrow. Please, we do not know just yet what it is. I know it is easier said than done, but not worry too much." She gave them a reassuring smile, a rare thing to see on her face.

"Now, do you have any questions? Please feel free to ask."


	4. Chapter 4

When Anakin lead them back to their rooms the next day news had not gotten any better.

The initial results had been correct. There was a tumour located in Ahsoka's liver. Even worse, the full-body scans had revealed possible metastases in his Padawan's right femur and both lungs.

Ahsoka hugged herself tightly. She looked up at him expectantly. "What are we going to do now Master?"

Her master laid a warm hand on his shoulder. He met her gaze steadily, giving her a warm, if a bit wavering, smile. "You Ahsoka, sit down. You look tired and today has been a long day. I would like for you to sleep or meditate."

Her master pushed her slightly towards her room. Only after she had meekly vanished into her room he allowed himself to lean to the kitchen cupboard.

Anakin groaned, running his hands over his face. What should he do? Master Unduli had tried to calm them, tried to tell them that she didn't know exactly what it was that was plaguing Ahsoka, if it was good or bad, but alone the knowledge of this growing inside of her was agonizing to him.

Why? Who could he turn to? The healer had reassured him and his Padawan to call her every time they needed something, but somehow it just wouldn't feel right. Numbly he wandered over to the com unit and hit the speed dial.

Not half an hour later his old Master had opened the windows, letting in the fresh night-air from Coruscant drift in. He had reassured himself that both Anakin and Ahsoka had already eaten in the med bay and then brewed a pot of his chamomile tea.

Just as the tea was ready Ahsoka re-emerged from her room. She had showered and changed her clothing; the smell of the hospital bothered her sensitive nose greatly.

She stopped in her tracks as she caught sight of Obi-Wan. "Master," She gave a quiet greeting.

"I apologize for not greeting you sooner. I did not hear you come in."

Obi-Wan gave her an amiable smile. "Do not worry Ahsoka. Please, sit down. You look like you are cold."

With these words he laid a hand on her back and guided her towards the couch in living room, afterwards fetching the teapot from the counter of the open-room kitchen a few steps away. He gently poured her a cup of the steaming liquid and waited until she had huddled into a blanket. Ahsoka was sitting cross-legged like she preferred if she could not swing her legs and the couch was much too low for that. She usually avoided it like the plague.

Obi-Wan sat down in a chair, built eye contact to her and started to speak in a low tone.

"Anakin told me about the diagnosis. I hope you are alright with that." Ahsoka nodded. She seemed very numb, almost ready to shut down. Almost automatically she sipped the hot beverage in her hands.

"The Jedi temple has the best healing facilities in the republic Ahsoka and we are all there for you and you Anakin."

The last part was directed at his former Padawan, who was seated across him, on Ahsoka's other side.

"Please remember that. If any of you need something, do not hesitate to call."

Ahsoka bit her lip and started to hunch. Her shoulders trembled.

Anakin reached for her, but she froze under his touch. "What is wrong Snips?"

"I am afraid." She forced out. "I am so, so afraid. What, what is that?" Her hands trembled, spilling the tea over her hands. Obi-Wan gently took it from her hands.

"Why, why me? What is going to happen now?" Ahsoka started to sob slightly.

Her Master collected himself and sat down next to her, gently enveloping her in his arms, not allowing her to pull away, instead pressing her head to his shoulder.

It was him who offered physical comfort, while it was Obi-Wan who began to speak again.

"Master Unduli is an exceptional healer and I am certain she will come up with a very good treatment plan. Place your faith in her abilities and her knowledge."

The older Jedi reached out and he too gave Ahsoka a gentle hug. The Force folded over her like a blanket, warm, comforting and her already drooping eyes closed. She welcomed the soft darkness that allowed her to leave the nightmare her life had become.

Only when he had carried his Padawan to bed and was certain she was asleep, did Anakin allow himself to sink down onto the coach. Obi-Wan poured both of them another cup of tea, although by now it was lukewarm and offered his steady, silent presence. After a while of staring into his cup Anakin started to talk; about how Ahsoka had noticed her stiffness and the bomb that had gone off in the medical wing.

Obi-Wan said few things, he was just there and listened to the younger Jedi speak. Even though he was silent or because it Anakin found his presence very comforting: It was cathartic to talk about the bad news. It made it more real, more tangible and made them appear somehow manageable.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning for one fleeting moment, everything was alright.

Anakin walked into Ahsoka's bedroom and woke his padawan as he had always done, with a gentle hand on her shoulder and a soft word.

Ahsoka let out a murmur, turning away from the offending light seeping in from the open door.

"Master? Just five more minutes, please."

Anakin chuckled, happy that her reaction was still the same as always. "Of course, be back in five Snips."

He let the sleepy padawan curl more tightly into her soft, cozy covers and walked over to her desk. He turned the handle of her window and let cool morning air seep into the room before walking out of the room, allowing Ahsoka another few minutes to slumber.

Ahsoka sighted, allowing the warmth of her covers to protect her against the cooling air in her room. She took a deep breath and winced, bile rising in her throat as she remembered the past days. Unbidden tears sprung up and she curled tighter, hugging her arms to her chest.

Why, oh, why was this happening. How could they have missed this? It had felt like sore muscle, then like a deep bruise. Why? She didn't want to get up, didn't want to face reality. She wanted to just lie in her bed and not face the world.

But the world didn't give her the chance.

"Ahsoka, it's been five minutes, get up and get ready; your breakfast is getting soggy." And her master didn't either.

With a sick feeling residing in her stomach Ahsoka pushed her feet out from the cover, getting up so slowly, she was almost sliding out of bed.

Bright lights greeted her as she reached the kitchen. Anakin had already set out their food, as Ahsoka would usually clean up when they were done. In the morning they just found it easier to work when they were not in each other's way. Even though both master and padawan usually got along well, Ahsoka was a morning person and that tended to clash with her master's temper at times.

Her chair creaked as she sat down and gingerly stirred her flakes with cold blue milk. Ahsoka inhaled deeply before spooning up a bit and swallowing the soggy mass. Usually she would wolf down her food, mysteriously hungry from the long hours of doing nothing.

Today the food sat heavily in her stomach, deepening the sick feeling. She couldn't handle more than a few bites before she pushed the bowl away.

"I'm not very hungry master." Ahsoka evaded his master's gaze. She souk out the brightening morning sky instead. "I think I will get ready for my appointment with master Luminara."

Usually she would wait for her master to give his consent. Today, she picked up her dish and scraped the remainder of her food of. Today, as usual as it had started, was not a normal day and both of them knew it, the harsh truth slowly seeping in through the cracks of their lives as her master's sad eyes followed her steps to the fresher.

Even her movements were different than usual, hesitant, lacking the spring and energy that made it almost, almost a skip.

When Ahsoka entered her assigned treatment room Master Luminara was already waiting for her. Anakin had walked her to the door, quietly asking her if she wanted him to be there, but seeing his face and knowing that master Obi-Wan had reserved a sparring room for both of them she had denied her aching wish for him to stay with her.

He also hurt and was afraid and she desperately needed him to be strong. Perhaps, so she hoped, his old master would give him the strength to be strong for her.

Strong, firm fingers settled on her shoulder and guided her to the bed, bathed in bright light.

"Sit down padawan, try to relax Ahsoka. Open yourself to the force and let me in."

Warm fingers settled on Ahsoka's brow as she closed her eyes, forcing her breath to even out. The force touched her, gently touching her, cocooning her. It was alive, life was all around her and she was part of it. And for a moment it was alright.

Master Lumiara's carefully made her way into Ahsoka's body, inquiring, changing things. Ahsoka didn't know what. The older Jedi had explained the treatment to her the previous day, but the cold feeling had soaked into Ahsoka's bones back then, not allowing her to completely understand all the terms. So now, she just lay still, letting herself be calmed by the force.

Time passed by, evading her, Luminara, the entire room. As the healer's hand slowly lifted from Ahoska's head it was moist with sweat. The Jedi looked confused, concerned even, but as Ahoska gently touched her through the force her shields were impeccable. She smiled, giving Ahsoka a small nod.

"You may return to your master now Ahsoka. I recommend some light movement this afternoon. Try to eat a high protein meal either for lunch or dinner."

A firm hand helped Ahsoka up, steadying her on her feet before helping her to the door. Anakin was indeed waiting for her. He was freshly showered and somewhat more stable after the shower. He took over from the healer, holding a hand on Ahsoka's shoulder and holding her close to his side.

Usually Luminara would have furrowed her brow, mulling over the emotional connections between the two, but today she had more important things on her mind.

The door slid close and she activated her comlink.

"Bariss? Good, please look up the files about the developments in cancer treatment. And please send a message to master Yuoda saying that I request a meeting of the council. It concerns the state of padawan Ahsoka Tano. I would ask for her master to be invited too, but not the padawan."

The two deserved some time. They would have enough to go through in the near future.

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**A.N.:**

Things aren't looking bright, do they? Well, this story makes me sad even while writing it, so a great thanks to ahsokafan9683, Lazy Luxsoka, TheWrongJedi and AhsokaRocks55 for reviewing. Your messages really cheer me up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Star Wars the Clone Wars and do not make any money from this story.

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The council had come together at the same afternoon. Anakin stood beside Luminara. He was agitated and one could see would have much preferred to walk up and down, but for now he held still. Ahsoka was with Barris, the two close friends working through several meditation exercises.

When Luminara had called for the meeting she had announced it to master and padawan as an update on Ahsokas health.

Plo Koon was unusually tense. The news about Ahsoka had hit him as hard, harder than most of the people who knew the young padawan and Ahsoka was well liked by many people. Of course on the outside he was the experienced and serenely calm, almost stoic, Jedi master.

"You asked for the council Luminara, "his deep voice rumbled. "Concerning the health of young Ahsoka."

The Jedi healer nodded courtly. She stepped forward until she was in the middle of the room.

"Ahsoka Tano was diagnosed with an unusually fast growing and, as we fear, aggressive tumor. This morning we started her treatment with a healing session to reduce the growth speed of the main tumor and to reduce its size. Further plans are to direct radiation towards several of the smaller tumors and to introduce medicaments to reduce growth speed further and to also reduce the chance of it spreading."

The Council nodded. Most had briefly reviewed the information given.

"Unfortunately I was unable to achieve today's goals."

The force seemed to freeze around Anakin. He closed his eyes, fearing what he might hear when Luminara continued.

"The tumor is showing resistance to force influence. I have yet to encounter or even hear about such an occurrence. I was unable to achieve any effects. This is more than worrying to me. Especially after I reviewed the failed treatment for cancer has been stolen."

Master Windu intervened. "You suspect a connection?"

Unduli nodded. "I do. The way the cells refuse, almost evade my skills are entirely unnatural. It holds a faint feeling of the dark side and I fear someone might have tempered with the attempted cure. It was just an inkling and vanished after the healing session, but I am certain it was there. The investigations brought up nothing, but perhaps now we could find something when we look on Marisa."

Anakin threw his hands up I the air. "It has been weeks, the trail has gone cold by now."

"Which is exactly why we must act now."

Plo Koon rose from his seat. "I have no upcoming missions that require my attention. If the council allows, I will take up investigations."

He turned to Anakin and stemmed his flowing words with a raised hand. "No Anakin. Leave this to me. Your padawan needs your support. Rest assured that the wolf team and I will do everything possible to follow this lead. If the council agrees that is."

Mace and Yoda shared a short, silent communication with each other and after no-one spoke up Mace nodded.

"Take your men to Marisa and find out if the stolen cure is indeed connected to padawan Ahsoka's illness."

Anakin hesitated. "What about Ahsoka, should she know?"

Luminara shook her head. "As much as it pains me, I do not recommend it at the given time. We do not know if my suspicions are true and she is troubled enough as she is. She needs every ounce of hope she and we can muster. Until evidence turns up we should keep it quiet."

Usually Anakin would have wildly protested, but now he nodded his consent. He felt too weak to break the news to Ahsoka.

Nevertheless he tried. "We can't keep this from her."

Feeling numb he bowed before the council. Was it any other situation he would not admit it.

He whispered, the words being forced through a tight throat. This was about Ahsoka, he had to set his pride aside. This was about his padawan.

"I don't think I can keep it from her."

After a short consultation with the other council members Master Windu closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "An understandable reaction Skywalker; today is not the day to tell her on your own. Go home, eat and spend time with your padawan. If you feel you cannot tell her tomorrow, come by. We will tell her together."

Windu gave a curt nod towards Luminara. "I understand your opinion, but I fear that keeping the truth from Ahsoka will do more damage in the long run."

Anakin gave the Jedi Master a surprised look. He had not expected this reaction, but he very grateful for it.

How much more would they have to endure?

Over dinner, which was rich in protein and carbohydrates as instructed, Ahsoka felt her master was troubled, but did not ask. Anakin had started to say something about the council meeting, but had broken off before he could finish the sentence. The silence was pressing and after a few half hearted attempts on conversation they finished their meal in silence. The failure of the force healing was hanging over their heads like a dark cloud. It did leave, but they did try their best to make it go by ignoring it.

The dinner was cleared away and both master and padawan settled down for the evening meditation. The force presence of Anakin evened out as he released the feelings of the day into the force. Then, he turned his thoughts towards Ahsoka, gently probing her mind and carefully nudging her to open herself to the force.

Her shoulders relaxed, head rose slightly and she sat straighter as the deep, sick feeling in her was lifted away. They held this feeling for a moment. Then, they slipped back, carefully closing the path to the force a bit.

Anakin rose from his seat gracefully, offering his padawan a hand, which she disregarded and jumped to her feet instead.

"Thank you master." She smiled at him and for a blessed moment he had his old Snips back. They settled into bed, trying to find sleep.

Later the night, the temple was silent, when Ahsoka rose from her sleep. She could not tell what had roused her, but the tense feeling in her muscle told her she was not getting back to sleep.

The events of the day repeated in her head again and again. Ahsoka sat down at her desk and switched her console on. Something was not right, womething was not adding up, but she felt as if she was crazy even thinking about it. Her illness and this could not be related.

The council had come together to discuss her treatment. Bariss had had told Ahsoka in her soft voice all about the procedures that awaited her. At the time Ahsoka was tired from the exercise, but now, lying awake at night, the questions came and didn't stop bothering her.

She stood up quietly and slipped on her robes before heading for the room of the thousand fountains. She needed calm and her room felt stifling. The apartment was too close to her master and right now, she needed to be alone.

When she entered the water filled room Ahsoka was greeted by the soft sound of the water. The sound of her soft steps was almost swallowed up by the waves.

Ahsoka walked over to the edge of the deep pool and sat down with her legs crossed. Her hands rested on her knees, palms upwards. Her breathing deepened and the force flowed through her.

The opening of the main door disturbed the near silence. Apparently Ahsoka was not the only one seeking peace this night.

A man in dark brown robes settled down next to her with an exceptional grace for someone his size.

"Good evening padawan."

"Good evening Master Windu." Ahsoka replied. Windu settled down next to her. The force was wound tightly around her limbs and mind holding her in a dark grip; echoing the feelings inside of her.

"What brings you here at this time padawan?" Windu carefully reached out through the force and send calming waves to her. The slight suggestions showed effect almost immediately as her muscles relaxed and her breathing calmed.

"I could not sleep Master. There has been so much going on, I needed to think."

The older Jedi looked down and watched her crossed legged form intently. "If there is something, feel free to ask Ahsoka."

The young Togrutan sighed. She fidgeted under his gaze and opted to stare at the water instead of facing him. The Jedi master was a member of the council. He was the picture perfect Jedi, which Ahsoka had always thought too detached from life. To have him act like this was confusing, but she desperately needed to talk, with someone other than her master.

Anakin was too close to her, too desperate to make her feel safe and normal that she thought he would shatter any moment. She didn't want to heap anything more on him.

"What has been going on today master Windu? My master seemed to want to talk, but could not find the words he needed. I was tired and confused and wanted to put it off until tomorrow, but the questions don't let me go. What is going to happen to me? Why does master Unduli's treatment not work and what why did she call in the council today?"

The older Jedi settled his hands on his knees and straightened his pose. He gazed at the small waves of the lake in front of them and replied softly.

"Master Unduli is a very talented healer Ahsoka. Trust her abilities and her contacts. There are other ways you can take. It was only one option."

Ahsoka interrupted him with a tearful voice.

"But it is crushing me master. I had hoped so much she could cure me, it is just…" She trailed off, shuddering with suppressed sobs, trying too hard to keep herself together.

Master Windu placed a heavy, warm hand on her shoulder.

"I am sorry Ahsoka. I wish I could tell you there was an instant cure, but I cannot. You have to trust in the force. Master Unduli will find a way. Trust her and the force."

Ahsoka turned towards him, eyes brimming with unshed tears. "What about the matters this afternoon?"

"The council discussed the origin of your illness. We fear it might have something to do with the failed cure." He paused as Ahsoka inhaled sharply. She didn't seem surprised, her signature in the force suggested she was less stressed than before.

"The story was was all over the news when it was stolen. I feared something like that. It is weird, but now I know it is not just something my brain cooked up, I feel, almost better."

"Master Plo Koon will investigate. If there is something to find he will, trust him."

"I know he will do all he can. I do trust him and I do trust Master Unduli and I do place all of my trust in the force." Ahsoka smiled, finally letting her tears fall. "Sometimes, it is just so hard. I know I should not let myself be ruled by my emotions, but how can I stay detached, calm. There is so much in me I can't release it all into the force. I just can't" She finished in a broken voice.

Windu squeezed her shoulder gently. "I know young padawan, but it is normal for you to feel this was. No one will blame you. You are holding yourself admirably and that you even think this way is all we can ask of you in this most trying time. You are on your way to become a most excellent Jedi."

* * *

**A.N.:**

So, I'v got good news and bad news.

Bad news is that we have reached the end of my pre-written chapters. I will try to keep to my once a week schedule, but life is kicking my shebs, so please bear with me should it take a bit longer.

The good news is that this chapter is double my usual length and if you would like any certain moments in this story drop me a note/ review and I will see if they fit in the plot I have in my head.

Talking about reviews, a great thanks to Zhannairah-Skywalker-23, Kulechik and TheWrongJedi. You guys made my day!


	7. Keep fighting

After Master Windu had said what was to be said he kept sending calm, warm waves over to the young padawan. With his pure, solid presence the older Jedi gave her comfort until during the long hours of the night when darkness pressed down.

There was no sound in the large room except for the gentle waves of the fountains.

After a long while Ahoska raised her head.

This behaviour was uncharacteristical for the older Jedi. Because of this she was usually quite intimidated by him and now she searched for the right words.

"Thank you Master Windu for your help. I should head back now."

He gave her a court nod.

"The night is a good time to think, far away from the commotion of the day. Have a good sleep. Keep strong."

There were no further words needed as Ahsoka stood up and gave a bow before she directed her stepps towards her and her master's quarters through the long and silent corridors of the sleeping temple.

The air was cool and fresh as she entered first the appartment and then her room. The covers were thrown back as she had left them in earlier this night. It was strange, how different she felt.

She would fight.

* * *

The next morning Anakin gave no sign if he knew about her nightly wandering. A gentle hand on her shoulder and a soft voice woke her, called her back into awareness. A shourt murmur of "just a moment, please," caused her master to smile and head over to the window next to her bed.

With a small creak he pulled it open and headed towards the kitchen, leaving the door open so the morning breeze could drift through the appartment.

She stretched under the warm covers and revelled in the contrast of her cozy, nearly too warm covers and the cool morning air. Her stomach told her, different to the last day, that it was time to get up. She was hungry.

Soon the sound of dishes and the smell of fresh baked goods caused Ahsoka to followed Anakin into the kitchen. It was a sunny day and brigh rays danced on the kitchen table. Her resolve to be strong nearly fled by the sight of several bottles and a flimsi sheet next to her plate.

"So, it is time." She murmured, her head full of guilt snapping towards he master, but he hadn't heard, busy with the frying pan and busy ignoring the medication he had set on the table.

Ahsoka perched on her chair, back to the living room and read through the information. She groaned quietly. How was she supposed to remember all of this?

Anakin sat a plate before her. Large, golden brown circles were swimming in sweet syrup.

Anakin took his place opposite of her and started eating his own portion, making a effort to appear normal. The long night and the sparring with Obi Wan had done him good. He was calmer, no longer quiet so tightly wound as he was the evening before.

Looking at her list Ahsoka's hunger turned tail.

Remembereing her healer's instructions she still picked up a fork and dug into the healthy portion of calorien high breakfast.

She forced down several bites before her stomach disagreed. With a deep breath she put down the fork and took a mouthfull of cold blue milk to convince the food to stay down.

"Ahsoka," her master started. He tried to look at her but ended up fixating a point on her shoulder instead.

"I have, I need." He stopped, mirrored her deep breath and started again, forcing himself to meet her blue eyes. He was her master. He had to be calm.

"There is somethign I need to talk about. Yesterday the council found out that the reason for your ilness is the stolen cure."

For a single moment he reached for the force, trying to push his emotions out, but once again the gate refused to work for him. The possibility was there, he just couldn't reach it.

A small hand covered his. A gentle nudge forced him to take a step back in his mind.

"Don't press like that, let it go." It was wrong to let his padawan help him, wrong to need any help. He was a master and, "I am supposed to be the teacher, the strong one here." Anakin smiled, hoping to disguise his failure as a light joke and raised his shields, hoping not to cut her off, but feeling a bit lighter after he followed her advice. THe tight coil of emotions ion his chest wasn#T gone, but he felt like he could handle it now. At least for a little while.

Ahsoka smiled, an honest, real smile that reached her eyes.

"It's alright master. We never stopp learning. And for the cure, Master Windu explained last night. I couldn't sleep and we met in the room of the thousand fountains."

Anakin pasued. His padawan was surprising him, had kept duing so since their first batlle on Christophsis, but this; He reached out through the force, expecting to meet dark, thick impentetrable shields guarding her mind, but touched just her usual barriers.

She was tense, worried about his reaction, and sick to her stomach with fright, but there was an inner strength, a resolution to keep going that made him touch her physically and mentally.

Ahsoka's hands trembled as she unscrewed the bottles and laid out the pills for this morning. Anakin put a hand on hers, his warm calloused fingers tightening around hers. Giving it a gentle squeeze. Physical affection wasn't frowned upon in the Jedi temple. It simply was rare when every being in your surroundings could convey their emotions so much more clearly with a just one thought.

Anakin suprpressed a sigh. _Even if the codey said There is no emotion, there is peace. We are just mortal._ _We need comfort every now and then._

It was just one small action, but it meant so much. He thought of his mother and pushed the thought far away. Now was not the time to deal with it. His padawan needed him now.

"I am sorry I wasn't the one to talk to you, but I am glad you did talk about it with someone. Don't feel bad about it. If there is something you need to talk about, talk about it. If you feel like you can not do so with me, know that there will never be a reason to worry about my reaction. I am your master Ahsoka. I should be there to guide you, to teach and support you. And I will do my best to fullfill my role."

Ahsoka swallowed. First master Windu and now her master. What was going on there? _You_ a little voice whispered.

She felt crowded.

"I understand master. But you are fullfilling your role. I am learning and I have already learned so much through you. No one was prepared for this, but together we will find a way and we must, we can only go forward."

Ahoska pulled her hand away from his, handing over the flimsi.

She stared at the pills, going through them in her head, evading his gaze. Somehow the appartment seemed stiffling again. Perhaps she

would feel less restrained after moving.

"Could you go through these? Master Unduli said something about a pill hoc, so I don't have to carry the bottles with me. Is our training for this

afternoon still planned?"

Anakin nodded absently, cross checking his padawan's work.

"It is Ahsoka. Perhaps we could start planning something different the next weeks. Just as a change. We usually see different places every few

weeks and this must get pretty dull."

His tone was light, trying to find a way to say that if surgery became neccessary her physical activities would be cut down.

Ahsoka nodded, trying to think of something that did not involve her jumping around.

She continued to bounce ideas off of her master for the rest of the day and even got him to promise to take him to the droid shops in the lower levels for replacement parts.

The real idea came by a call of Senator Amidala though.

A small dinner party was planned at her rooms by the end of the next week. Her call reached themwhile both padawan and master stretched to cool

down in the afternoon after their training.

"I had just planned for you to come Anakin, but under the circumstances I understand. Some of the Senators will bring their families. It might be a good idea for Ahsoka to come with you. It is just an informal gathering. You two could relax for a bit, see some different people."

Her hologram smiled at the pair.

"But I fear that Jedi robes will not quiet fit into the setting. I hope you allow me to accompany you to look for a dress or two."

Ahsoka beamed. She loved droid parts and lightsaber training, but she had seen the holo vids and had admired the many different dresses in the shops and had wanted to try how they would look on her.

Anakin wanted to protest, to say a Jedi's robes were completely fine for any occasion, but One look in his lovers eyes and one look in his padawan's face and Anakin caved.

"We were planning something to get us out of the daily routine anyway. When do you have time?"

* * *

**A.N.:**

So, the heated phase of exams has passed, I hope i didn't loose you guys, anybody still there? I appologize again and again for the long delay, (and many mistakes I don't have access to my usual computer, so I fear this chapter will have many mistakes despite proofreading. Point them out and I will fix them. Free internet cookie for anyone who finds one(or several.))

But I hope to be back to updating once a week or every two weeks.

This is just for me to get back into shape, so sorry for the lack of drama and tear jerkers here. I fear the next chapter will be a bit out of character and a bit fluffy as well.

Except for one part in which I hope to get the Wolf pack to cooperate. Is it just me or does Wolf not like fangirls in general?


	8. Keep Busy

The next days were spend in a strange routine.

After Master Unduli took a few tissue samples all they could do was wait.

They followed every advice from their healer as if it was an order.

The medicamentation was not too bad, as long as master and Padawan pretended not to notice what, the pills were there for.

Forget, don't think, don't mention it.

So The days were spent with everything that kept them busy.

Even inside their appartment they kept their hands from sitting still. Even crossword puzzles, ever before a bore to the very active people became a life saver.

Ahsoka was mulling about the name of a historical battle site on Ando as her Master entered the appartment from lunch with Obi Wan. She put the sheet and pen down.

"Did you meet Master Unduli? Has she said something?"

Just don't think about it. Because when you do, there is no ignoring reality.

What is it in her, does it still grow? Is the cell dampener working? Is the general medicamentation working or is it really something speciffic, so all the pills and nausea are for nothing?

Anakin laid a broad hand on ahsoka's shoulder. He sat down next to her and shook his head, trying to let his feelings flow through through the force instead of bottling them up. He couldn't let Ahsoka be dragged down by them.

"No, but I am sure she will call soon."

Until the results came back from the labs Master Unduli would not say anything. They knew it was so neither hope nor dread was induced, but the silence was driving them crazy.

His Padaway leaned into his side, appreciating the heat of his body. She reached over with her mind and nudged his, not liking the tenseness of his mind. It was not much that was missing to allow him to freely hand over his emotions to the force, but the block was still there.

She calmed herself, reaching for the familiar turns and twists and flow of the force and eased his hard, tenuous grip unto the living things that was the force.

"Not so hard. It is there, it wants to reach you, let it."

He took a deep breath, letting her guide him. When had it become so easy to accept her help?

When had it become calming for her to help him?

No idea, it helped, so it wasn't important.

Don't think, keep busy.

A.N.:

Thanks for all the Reviews and sorry for the short chapter! It is also not the promised shopping scene, but do you know when a scene jumps up and down and yells :"Write me! Write Me!" ?

Well this what happened here.

A great thanks to my anonymus reviewer for spotting the mistake last chapter, here is your cookie. Also a great thanks to Crashingthroughthesnow, TheWrongJedi and MusicKeeper, you guys are great!


	9. A Day Outside

It was a cloudy, but warm day when Senator Amidala approached the staircase to the Jedi temple.

It was still early, the shops in the district only opening their doors and putting their decorations outside. It promised to be a pleasant day.

Anakin and his Padawan were already waiting for her; the Padawan leaning from one foot to the other, tapping her fingers to some unknown rhythm on her hip, always moving, seeming to start vibrating whenever she was still for a moment.

When she caught sight of the approaching friend she called out. "Senator Amidala. It is good to see you!"

Amidala laughed when Ahsoka greeted her with her old enthusiasm.

"Good morning Ahsoka." She replied with an open, warm smile and restricted herself to give Ahsoka's shoulder a gentle squeeze instead of throwing her arms around the young girl and her master.

This day was all about the young woman, which waited on the temple steps with shining eyes and an eager expression.

Anakin saw the look in his Padawan's eyes and gave a theatrical sigh. "Shall we?" He asked as he offered Padme his arm. She accepted and took hold as he led her towards her parked speeder.

Ahsoka bounced down the paved walk, overtaking them at their leisurely pace and reached for the door.

Anakin grinned. "Not so fast Padawan!" He stopped her. "Remember etiquette." He teased her slightly as she stepped back and waited for her master to open the door with flourish.

"Ladies first." Anakin helped Padme and Ahsoka inside before closing the speeder gently.

He settled himself in the pilot's seat, pushing it backwards to accommodate his long legs. Padme had flown here herself.

He smiled as the engine purred during takeoff.

"A marvellous machine you have here Amidala." He remarked.

It was a good quality engine. His wonderful Padme had knowledge about more than politics, if that wasn't enough of a challenge in itself.

"Thank you Anakin, I needed something a bit smaller for Coruscant." She opened a small cooler and took out two Sweet Pinks, a popular drink, for Ahsoka and herself. "Would you like something as well?"

"No thank you, I would rather have both of my hands on the control right now."

Nothing would bother them during this day. He was sure of it.

Master Unduli herself had noted the favourable outcome of a change of scenery as the results had yet to come back.

Anakin tensed at the thought that the message about further treatment could come to his terminal in the temple at this given moment and he might not be there to read it. He shook his head and yanked the glider into a sharp left curve, which caused Ahsoka to giggle as she nearly spilled her Sweet Pink.

The results would be the same, wether they read them now or this evening or tomorrow, if they came today at all.

He was forced to reduce speed as they entered the thicker traffic of the shopping district.

Padme leaned forward and laid a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Take the next turn left please. The Gala has some parking places reserved for their guests."

The speeder landed with all the grace Anakin had, the sticky rests of the artificially coloured rink barely moved.

As Anakin held the door open for Padme and Ahsoka he noted that the parking places were tastefully decorated with flowers. Perhaps it was better that he had not told the Master Unduli about the details of their trip. This was more splendour than a Jedi should have and he was reasonably certain that the dresses on display were just as expensive and unique as the outside of the shop.

On the other hand, he gazed fondly at the young Togrutan at his side, her face had lit up at the sight of the clothing displayed just a few steps away. It was just for one day and one evening, the later would be good practise for her ambassadorial skills, which he himself lacked sorely.

He could explain it, if everybody ever asked. This was for Ahsoka he told himself.

Upon entry they were immediately greeted with an overwhelming enthusiasm. An eager employee ushered them to a more private dressing area. She offered Anakin a seat while chatting up a storm with Padme.

In between talk about the weather, traffic, current cuts and colours Anakin could make out that Padme had apparently pre-booked a shopping assistant for Ahsoka's dresses.

As their help disappeared around a corner to fetch some examples "to see what kind of style fits the young lady," and Ahsoka inspected some accessories he leaned closer to his love.

"Dresses, Padme?" He asked "I thought this was for one evening."

She smiled and used the moment to place a delicate kiss on his cheek. "There will be more chances for her to wear these Anakin." She whispered. "I will store them until they are needed. If anyone should ask I lent them to her."

Anakin accepted her answer with a smile, pacified by her smile.

Their assistant returned with several dresses draped over her arm, long, short with sleeves, without sleeves and began to hold them up one by one.

"This is a lovely short dress by Katinka. She is an upcoming designer and has just finished her first collection. As you can see the fabric is very delicate and flows very nicely from this rosette on the shoulder, stretching the body for the eye. The colours here are the blue and greens which were inspired by Ryloth's spring, where Katinka grew up."

She held the dress up for Ahsoka to judge how the colours suited her.

Anakin felt delightfully sleepy by just the first description, but forced himself awake when their assistant reached for the second, a coral blue dress with long sleeves.

"This here has a more unusual cut for this season, but I believe it would suit this young lady very well, as the padded shoulders accentuate your built. The fabric is rather stiff, but warmer than the last one…"

Anakin gave up, sank a bid deeper into the chair and resign to nod at appropriate moments. Padme had a very good taste in clothing, as she had in almost all things. She would make a good choice.

It seemed like hours had passed when the three women stopped talking about this and that and Ahsoka twirled on the tips of her feet for Anakin.

"What do you think master?" She beamed at him, face flushed with excitement.

The dress was a deep red and made out of velvet, clinging to her shoulders to her hips, then flowing wide, swishing like waves when she stopped turning.

"Do you like it?"

Anakin stared, shocked into silence. His Padawan's outfit was usually not very modest, but this made her appear in a light he was not sure he liked.

"It makes you seem, very grown up." He finally brought out.

Ahsoka laughed.

"Thank you Master!" She seemed delighted by the idea and brushed the soft fabric at her hips, suddenly deep in thought. A comforting warmth bled through their bond, unintentional, a hot, almost burning feeling that was yet so very comforting; a feeling no Jedi should have.

Anakin had an inkling what was on her mind, or rather who and didn't have the heart to interrupt her. His eyes swayed to Padme. It was not all how the council made it out to be.

He smiled and shook his head, no he would not reprimand her for this feeling, perhaps talk with her later, much later.

"So, what about lunch?" He asked, hoping that there was no more discussion about fabrics to be had.

The other two dresses were presented proudly by Ahsoka and their meal was taken in a small café that Padme praised greatly. She took the clothing with her to her apartment, promising to store them for Ahsoka, a small favour for the 'young lady' as she called Ahsoka with a smile.

His Padawan would not sit still until the dinner, always moving, almost back to her old self except for a few moments of stillness and cold dread that flooded their bond until she shook herself out of it and continued to bounce off of the walls.

The dinner itself was a small affair at Padme's apartment. Only a few senators were there for the delightful dinner.

Ahsoka was blushing with excitement, stripes on her Lekku brighter than ever, markings on her face standing out on freshly scrubbed skin.

Anakin had put a veto on make-up; his Padwan looked different enough without the artificial accents. He was not entirely comfortable with the way the fabric swayed around her and by the way the two senators' sons had brought with them stopped when his Padme introduced his Padawan and him as 'good friends' of hers.

For today he and Ahsoka were incognito, hoping for one evening of normalcy for Ahsoka, who was drying her hands on her dress before shaking hands with everyone in the room and being seated at the end of the table for the younger folks.

Anakin watched her, for a moment forgoing the delightful presence of Padme by his side in favour of keeping an eye on his Padawan.

After a few moments of silence one of the boys asked her about her Akkul teeth, which Ahsoka, outgoing person she was, launched into a tale of the hunt of the beasts.

"They are big predators, usually very careful, although they really don't have to be, after all they are the top of the food chain; but every now and then, especially in the deep winters, they will come to close to the villages to search for food. That is when the hunters have to track them to their burrows."

Anakin smiled and turned his attention to Padme. He shouldn't have worried. Ahsoka might not be experienced in formal affairs, the war had not left much time for it, but she was a very friendly person and people took to her quickly.

Time passes quickly in pleasant company and the evening went by in a blur. It was after midnight when the last of the group, which had shrunk quiet a lot, as a few senators had already excused themselves, broke up for good.

Padme stood up to bring the last of her visitors to the doors and returned to the living room, here Ahsoka had pushed off her shoes and curled into the cushions, turning around like a cat, trying to find a comfortable spot.

"Had a nice evening Ahsoka?" Her master asked, holding a last glass of red wine in his slim fingers.

"Mh, mh. It was great, Jip and Shoka were very nice, just like their fathers." Her eyes were nearly closed, a smile playing on her lips.

Anakin sighed and pulled out a row of tablets, hating to spoil the moments, but he hadn't wanted to pull Ahsoka away from the comversation during the evening.

"Great, now, try to take these before you get changed, water is on the table."

Ahsoka was wide awake at the sight of the plasic containers. "Do I have to?" She glowered at him.

Anakin held out the container.

"Yes. They are overdue already."

She sighed, cramming the pills in her mouth and washing them down with two big gulps of warm, stale water.

"I wish we could have danced through."

"Pardon?" Anakin was puzzled, had expected more resistance from his Padawan at having to return to the reality and her illness.

Ahsoka stood up, stretching, before flinching. The bond snapped shut.

Her masters forehead crunched in displeasure at being shut out so quickly after the whiff of dread came from her.

Ahsoka rubbed her midriff. "The evening, it was great, but dancing, I would have liked to dance with you."

She grinned and hurried towards Padme's bedroom where her robes hung.

The senator sat down next to her love, just as the door closed and put her arms around him.

"She shuts me out." He murmured into her hair, holding her close, savouring the moment.

"She doesn't want to worry you. This evening was for you both and she knows that."

Padme kissed him, lips warm and soft against his. "You both needed the break. Never forget I am here, for both of you."

* * *

**A.N.:**

A great thanks to MucisKeeper and Guest; and to Eregnar a whole bunch of cyber cookies, thank you.

Aboutthe chapter: Even with such an illness sometimes you are able to forget just what is hanging over your head, sometimes you even need to.


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